| |
Dean Jacobson, Dr. Barton, Dr. Williams,
distinguished faculty, administrators, family, friends, and, of
course, the graduating class of 2010: Thank you for bestowing this
honor upon me today as your commencement speaker. It is certainly a
big day for you graduating seniors of the Indiana Academy, and I am
truly honored to be a part of one of the most memorable events in
your life.
As graduates of such a prestigious high school, my alma mater, you
have amassed an incredible amount of knowledge during your years
here. Last night, I had the pleasure of attending the Senior’s
recognition ceremony, and I saw just how accomplished you all have
become at such an early age. You certainly know about being
ambitious and achieving your goals.
As you are about to embark on the next journey in your life, I am
here to show you the importance of, not only following your dreams,
but also discerning what you want vs. what others expect of you.
As I walked up here this morning, I suddenly remembered that the
last time I stood on this stage was when I was in your same seats –
for my own graduation 14 years ago. The time before that, I was
seven years tap-dancing a country hoe-down in a blue and white
gingham tutu. But don’t worry, I won’t tap-dance today.
Speaking of performing, what do Wil Ferrell, Matthew McConaughey,
and Eva Longoria all have in common? They are prime examples of
those who started on one path in their studies only to discover that
they had another hidden passion. It took studying sports
information, attending law school, or getting a degree in
kinesiology before they found their true calling.
Perhaps you, too, can relate to the pressure of following a track
that is expected and laid out for you – whether by your parents,
your teachers, friends, or through societal pressures.
You see, when I was 14 years old, I envisioned growing up to become
an orthopedic surgeon. It was an attractive career choice, it seemed
to pay well, and saying “I am going to be a surgeon” was an
impressive thing to say to adults. My mother promised to buy me a
house in California if I went to Stanford Medical School, and the
whole package just seemed like a pretty good deal. The only
problem was that it was a future that looked good on paper…and it
was a future that I thought I should do, not necessarily one that I
desired in pursuing.
By then, I had already learned to sew and was making dresses for
myself and friends during my spare time. It was more of a survival
tactic than anything – because the offerings at The Muncie Mall were
pretty bleak and to lessen the pain of summer boredom. Making
clothes passed the time and satisfied any adolescent need I had to
be inventive and create my own fun.
At this time, in the early ‘90s, we did not have the Internet so my
gateway to the outside world was through magazines and TV. I had a
bookcase in my bedroom dedicated to my collection of Vogue, ELLE,
and W magazines, and fashion spreads of Linda Evangalista plastered
on my bedroom walls. Every Saturday morning, just like clockwork, I
would turn on the TV to CNN and watch Style with Elsa Klensch
reporting on the glamorous worlds of Chanel, Armani, and Lacroix.
And yet I was still insistent on becoming an orthopedic surgeon one
day.
When I arrived at the Indiana Academy in 1994 and was placed amongst
such high achievers, I, for once, became very insecure about my
performance in class. I was horrible at writing essays, I was scared
to talk in French class, I didn’t understand calculus, and forget
about physics!
It wasn’t long before I realized that my strengths were in art &
design, and my weaknesses, unfortunately, were in science,
mathematics…and even the humanities. When it became obvious that
medical school was not going to happen for me, I was still insistent
on doing something in the sciences, perhaps in the soft sciences
like psychology...not necessarily because I liked it or was good at
it, but, quite simply, because pursuing the sciences was the proper
thing to do. Parents liked it. Teachers liked it. Scholarship
applications and college admission committees seemed to like it.
Because of this, I convinced myself that that was what I also wanted
to do.
However by then, I had developed a secret desire to become a fashion
designer – a secret one because this was certainly not the socially
acceptable thing to do. I mean, who applies to the Academy and
thinks they will be taken seriously if they write “fashion designer”
as their desired career path? It wasn’t considered a noble
profession and, I had never actually met any fashion designers in my
life at that time. The idea of becoming one could have been seen as
terribly unrealistic by some, and akin to being a seamstress by
others.
Yet, oddly, it was at the Academy where I found my true calling.
Back then, we still had Ms. Ney as our teacher and we were reading
Joseph Campbell in her class.
One afternoon while I was telling my roommate how I longed to be a
designer, she shared with me her reading from class…which I now
share with you. In short, Campbell said that everyone has a passion
in life -- what he called bliss -- and it is each person’s goal in
life to find that bliss and follow it with all their heart, or risk
never being truly happy in life.
So it was at that moment, that I decided to follow my bliss and
become a fashion designer -- no matter what others thought. I then
headed to Bracken Library and hunted down the biographies of every
designer name I could think of. I learned that Betsy Johnson
graduated with top honors as a Phi Beta Kappa, so it was possible to
be smart and creative. I learned that Ralph Lauren’s real name was
Ralph Lifshitz, so it did not matter where one came from; your
identity could be reinvented. I learned that Bill Blass had played
high school football in Fort Wayne and all he knew was that he
wanted to “get the hell out of Indiana.” In fact, I learned that
many fashion designers grew up in Indiana: Norman Norell, Mainbocher,
Halston, and Stephen Sprouse. They had all moved to New York to
pursue their dream, and I knew that was what I had to do next.
But I was still a junior at the Academy. I had spent my entire life
in Muncie, and this outrageous idea to move to New York to become a
fashion designer was still just a dream. Since there was no one here
to inquire about the profession, I did something very daring: I
wrote a fan letter to my favorite designer at the time, Anna Sui,
asking for her help. To my surprise, she wrote back a long 6-page
handwritten letter filled with the most inspiring advice any
aspiring designer could receive!
One month after graduating from the Academy, I moved to New York
and, like a scene in a movie, I ran into Anna Sui at her boutique
two weeks upon arriving in the city. She offered me an internship in
her studio and that is how my career in fashion began.
The most amazing things happen when you follow your dreams! As
Joseph Campbell explained in The Power of Myth, when you follow this
bliss, “you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all
the while, waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is
the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet
people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I
say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open
where you didn’t know they were going to be.”
Now, I am not going to tell you that following your heart will be
easy. It is certainly scary to forge your path and wing it alone.
Believe me, I have been there. You must be daring; you have to take
risks; and you must start out with a great deal of courage.
Additionally, if you work hard and are extremely persistent, things
really will magically fall into place.
While on this path of pursuing your dreams, you will certainly
experience failure. In fact, it is inevitable that you will fail
many times. I have to tell you this because, as graduating seniors,
you may not have experienced much failure yet. You may be accustomed
to teachers telling you that you are the best and the brightest in
Indiana – the “cream of the crop.” If you get straight A’s, high SAT
scores, rack up a slew of extra-curricular activities and glowing
teacher recommendations, you are set for life. And while that’s all
great – and something to be proud of – those achievements will only
start you on the right path. It is up to you build up from that
foundation and seek out the tools to accomplish your goals. Even
though I went on to receive a wonderful education at Columbia
University, an Ivy League school could only take me so far. I had to
go beyond my basic coursework and take the initiative to immerse
myself in the industry that so interested me. Learning outside of
the classroom was just as important as what I was studying in
school. School can only teach you the basics; it’s up to you to
create your own education.
I am sure that each of you has a dream and, if you were anything
like me in high school, you may not think it possible that your
dream can become a reality. Well, I am here to tell you that it
certainly can. I say “not only dare to dream,” but “dream BIGGER.”
Do not be afraid to follow your dreams, no matter how impossible
they may seem to you now. You still have to work hard, you will have
to stay positive, you will have to overcome insurmountable odds and
learn how to move mountains. But the rewards will make up for all
the hardship and set-backs you will experience along the way. Do not
give up. Stay persistent and success will follow.
While you are on your path, do not be scared to take risks. Each
time I took a risk, I was generously rewarded for it -- either
immediately or years later. For example, it was a big risk to leave
the familiar safety net of Indiana to New York where I knew no one.
It was a risk to leave my job at Donna Karan and start my own
collection and company when I was still an unknown designer. If that
wasn’t scary enough, it was an ever greater risk to participate in a
television show where I was critiqued by one million viewers across
America every week. Yet taking all of these risks, and even risking
failure, was worth more than not doing it at all.
Graduates, this is the point where I am supposed to offer you sage
advice as you venture onto the next adventure in your life. You may
forget these ten points after today, so I will keep this brief and
hope that you will remember at least one of these suggestions:
1. This first one is really one that I learned when I graduated and
pass down from your teacher Mr. Watson: START A ROLODEX, or what you
may refer to these days as just an address book. Keep the business
cards and contact information of everyone that you meet.
2. This next one comes from my parents, and that is to TRAVEL. Go
beyond the borders of Indiana and explore different cultures around
the world. Even if you are a poor student, you can find a way to
travel. Travel as often as you can and it will open your eyes and
mind to the world.
3. KEEP A JOURNAL. It is a good way to chart out how you will
fulfill your dreams. When you need to vent it is cheaper than
getting a therapist.
4. TRY NEW THINGS & EXPERIENCES, even if you dislike them. It is
when you try something new, and feel a little uncomfortable in the
process, that you know that you are growing.
5. BE PERSISTENT. Persistence is nature’s way of separating those
that are merely interested in doing something and those that really
want it. Keep trying, and you will eventually get it.
6. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT and you will always make the right decision.
7. STAY POSITIVE & NEVER REGRET the choices you have made.
8. ALLOW YOURSELF TO SAY NO sometimes. It can make you appear more
desirable.
9. RULES ARE FLUID, DON’T BE AFRAID TO BREAK THEM. Or as Bill Cosby
once said, “Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best
to rewrite them.”
10. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT; AVOID THE SAFETY OF CONVENTION.
As the photographer Cecil Beaton once said: “Be daring, be
different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of
purpose and imaginative vision against the slaves of the ordinary.”
Or more simply, as my hero Coco Chanel would say, “In order to be
irreplaceable, one must always be different.”
Last of all, remember Joseph Campbell: Find your passion. Follow
your bliss. Pursue your dreams.
Thank you very much. |
|
